Monday, March 2, 2009

A viewer's guide

Ahh, Anthony Bourdain... how I love thee.
(It's the start of a killer sonnet.)

I'm watching Mr. Bourdain eat his way through Sri Lanka. I don't know what it is about the guy, but I have the hots for him. He writes, he looks good in those boots, he's foul-mouthed, and he travels around the world without making embarrassingly ethnocentric remarks everywhere he goes.

Yum.

I'm sure that in real life he tastes like an ashtray. His travel stories must get old after awhile. And, if he drinks as much at home as he does on the road, he's probably less than mind-blowing in the sack. But, that's the thing about having a shameless crush on some guy you only see on the Travel Channel... it's completely unfettered by shit like real life.

The best thing about TV--it's not reality.

When you forget that, you and your side swept bangs end up abandoning your integrity for the chance to smear makeup all over The Bachelor's pillowcase. And when they televise your fifteen minutes of heartache, it will have all the dignity and grace of a public execution.

18 comments:

☆Susan☆ said...

I can't believe you were watching The Bachelor. Ew. Don't get me wrong, I understand the need for mindless entertainment, but couldn't you just watch American Idol Rewind or something?

Or maybe this was for research? I'll go with that. (Research is my usual excuse for the crap TV I watch.) :)

Terroni said...

Yeah, well...what can I say?

I actually didn't make it all the way through the show. At some point, I deemed it too horrible to sit through and gave up to go make some tea.

(Wow. I sound like such an old lady.)

Vic said...

Okay. There is MOST DEFINATELY a place for mindless entertainment. Spending mindless hours on a lounge requires an appropriate visual accompaniment. Television.

As for crushes, mine is Bones. She's gorgeous. Stunning. Incredibly intelligent.
Did I say gorgeous?

Terroni said...

Vic, my friend and roommate last year, Lolita, had a thing for Bones. I think you're both right...she is gorgeous.

Shan said...

I had to look up Anthony B. but of course I knew who he was when I did. That's an interesting person to have a crush on but I've certainly had my share of interesting crushes. Don't get my friends started. ;)

And since you brought it up....I'll get on that Bachelor shame train and ride it to the very end. I did. Last night. I almost gave up in the middle but he seemed like such a nice little guy, I just had to see who he chose. Turns out he's got a fatal commitment flaw. Yikes on the jilting at the end. If you haven't heard you oughta look it up. That poor sweet little Texan got the rug pulled out from under her...again.

Well, I am a matchmaker at heart so it only makes sense I could get sucked in by such trash. I had trash in quotes but then realized my folly. ;)

Eric said...

Oh man, I'm missing TV right now because of Bourdain, I used to stay up crazy late to watch him on Food Network when they had his show on at 1am so that he wouldn't offend any of Emeril's fans (c'mon, cheering every time the man uses garlic?).
His book, Kitchen Confidential is the reason I got back into cooking.
Then the Bachelor thing makes me not miss the TV so much.

☆Susan☆ said...

Oooh I too love Bones. Emily Deschanel is beautiful, but I gotta say, I'm hooked on David Boreanez

Sassy Sundry said...

Yeah, I hear you on that front. Totally hear you. Yummy.

citizen of the world said...

The segue into the Bachelor cracked me up.

Amanda said...

haha... research... haha... Susan you are one funny gal!

Last night was my first experience with the Bachelor. I might actually hate that guy.

MmeBenaut said...

I only caught a tiny piece of that show but I'll pay more attention next time, especially now that I have a 42" HD LCD TV.

dive said...

What's The Bachelor, T?

Hokay, you know I'm an ignorant Englishman who doesn't watch TV.
I've read Bourdain's books and he's a scream, but I've not seen him on TV so I'll take your word on his sexiness.

Scout said...

I LOVE Anthony. He's so rough around the edges, and No Reservations is one of the best shows on TV. That may not be saying much.

Maria said...

I have no idea who this fella is and now I am very curious.

And I sat there drooling over Robert Pattinson when I took my nieces to see TWILIGHT.

He is young enough to be my SON.

nina said...

i am curently having a torrid love affair with Dr. House. i am an absolute sucker for a sarcastic, well educated drug addict. When you throw in the limp, well i can practically have an orgasm during the opening credits.

;)

kate g said...

I just found you through Sara (Gitz's) blog. I read this entry alone, and I might be hooked.
Wanted to say hi :)

Hi!

A bunch of the women I work with were hooked and annoyed at the end. I have yet to watch any of it, but agree with you 100%. :)

I like the way you think.

Dear Prudence said...

You can't love him because I do.. he is just soooo...irreverent.

Shan said...

Ok T. I'm back to say I caught an episode of No Reservations today while in bed sickly and I totally saw what you were talking about. Yep, it's not strange at all. ;)