Thursday, April 10, 2008

Won't be long before they make me treat the cows

For the next month, I'm in a doctor's office in Bumfuck, Egypt. I'm doing internal medicine now, but this month of ambulatory is really no different than my last rotation in family medicine. I'm tired of outpatient clinics. I'm sick of the rural Midwest.

But, I'm staying with Dorothy again. She has taken me in without any compensation from the school because, as she said, "We are friends now." My friend is saving me from the run-down dorms where the internal medicine students are stored, uh...I mean, housed in these here parts.

I came home today, exhausted from eight hours of...We need to get your cholesterol down a bit. Have you been monitoring your blood pressure at home? Is it always this high? Did you get those labs that the doctor ordered? Why not? Should I maybe just go bang my head against a brick wall? Would that save us some time here? Yeah. That's what I thought.

After all that, I walked in to find Dorothy standing in front of the TV yelling BULLSHIT at General Petreus.

It's the bright spot in my day, watching the liberal old lady from the middle of nowhere scream swear words at CNN during press conferences.

Really. It's the only reason I'm not hanging myself with my stethoscope.


Susan said...

Whatever it takes to keep you from hanging yourself with your stethoscope. Gen. Petraeus is as good a person to yell at as anybody. Perhaps you can take her with you tomorrow and she can yell at the blood pressure people...

deboo said...

Dorothy is a gem.

Oh. You knew that? Methinks you should take Smokey with you to the clinic. If nothing else, he'd stretch his legs and be a distraction to everyone else.

I know it's not practical, but who gives a flying...? It would sure make me laugh!

Terroni said...

She would nail the physician I'm working with. He talks with his back to people.

I can hear it now..."Young man, turn around and look me in the eyes when you're talking to me."

Maria said...

It will be a common theme. You will deal with obese people who swear that they have no idea why their blood sugar is 254. You will see people with high blood pressure who have fried chicken on their breath when you see them and swear that all they eat is carrots and peas.

But, you'll also see people who are just incredibly brave. When I went to get my steroid knee shots, my md had a med student toddling along behind him and he looked bored out of his pants. He was barely paying attention.

It pissed me off. I told him that if he wanted to be a good doctor, he needed to center his mind on the patient and not on what he was going to do with his buds later that night. That it is tit for tat. Most of the patients don't want to be sitting there in that fucking cold freezing office any more than he did. I swear that kid looked at me in sheer terror.

My md (who is a friend)later called me to say that the kid said, "is she like...psychic?"

dive said...

Hoorah for liberal old ladies.
I always wondered what happened to Dorothy after she got back from Oz; I'm glad she turned out okay.

Mme Benaut said...

I wrote you a note - I did - but my Mac must have eaten it. Hang in there little one; it will be worth it one day when you have students coming to study with you and you can tell them stories from your student days.
Hope that things are ok. Will check back to see how you're doing soon.