Monday, May 9, 2011

Check

I had the day off yesterday and so made myself a to do list. In between clean shower and sweep backyard, I wrote, get a grip. I wrote it as if it were a task to be accomplished, a chore to be done. Then, I looked over my list, realized I wasn't actually in the mood to do any of that cleaning shit, and headed to the bookstore instead.

I bought Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird. I wasn't looking for a book about writing. I was looking for some Anne. Anne is the kind of woman who would understand why I wrote that list...and why I walked away from it. She wouldn't ask why I had to buy a book, a bag of chips, and some guacamole and spend the afternoon sitting on a bench, spilling avocado on my shirt, growing new freckles (or, as is more likely with my genes, basal cell carcinomas) in the afternoon sun.

As I did just that, I overhead two young 20-somethings discussing what their lives would be like when they were 30. These two had all sorts of grand plans. They were going to be established in their careers, well into their first marriages, having their oldest of three children...

Oddly enough, neither of them said, "When I am 30, I'm going to make elaborate to do lists. They will say things like, chill the fuck out, lighten up, and get over yourself. And then, I'm going to spend whole Saturdays sitting in the sun, spilling guacamole on a white tee shirt, and working towards going home to put a check mark next to get a grip."

5 comments:

dive said...

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, T, but when you're in your fifties you'll be doing exactly the same thing, with an additional big red note on the fridge door saying "Don't you fucking DARE, you dickwad!"

Hopes, dreams and aspirations are there to be unfulfilled.
Alcohol helps.

Vic said...

I'm 30. I make elaborate to do lists including get real and find something amazing and all the other seemingly impossibile tasks. I leave notes on my fridge. I have been known to set reminders on my phone saying do something to better yourself today. But you know what? I think I may just try buying a book next time too.

MmeBenaut said...

Ticks are good; reading is better. Vitamin D from the sun is essential. Sounds like you're doing better than you thought, little one.

.j.william. said...

teens: "when I'm in my twenties, I'll be an adult."

twenties: "when I'm in my thirties I'll finally be an Adult."

thirties: "meh. overrated."

Ms. Avarice said...

I should to write a list like that! I'm Sure I'd be better off dismissing it too. Thank you for writing, I needed to hear this.