Thursday, June 5, 2008

Travel log

This morning, there was no hot water in my bathroom. Braver women would have taken the ice cold shower. I, however, am not braver women. I was afraid my tiny tits were going to freeze off my chest.

Then, I could just imagine the call to maintenance...
I lost something in the shower drain and I was wondering if you could use that snake thingy to retrieve it.
What'd ya lose? A ring?
No. My nipples. Damn things froze right off.

And, you know, even if the maintenance guys were able to get them out of the drain, they would never really look right again.

So, paralyzed by fear and vanity, I didn't shower. I threw on some deodorant and called it clean enough. Sort of like camping. Without the s'mores and tent sex.

And what have we learned from this experience?
Camping without s'mores and tent sex is utterly pointless.
Don't bother.

13 comments:

Vic said...

Maybe you should get brass nipples, they'd be harder to freeze off...

Terroni said...

and I could punch people with them

.j.william. said...

brass nipple / that funky nipple

(cue the beastie boys)

It's just me... said...

I dunno T, I always thought that breasts without nipples could be pretty hot...Just like Barbie. Perhaps you missed out. *grin* I've never been camping, is tent sex really worth the risk of ticks?

Terroni said...

jw, your comment made me laugh in spite of my exhaustion. thanks.

susan, like all sex, i suppose it depends on who you're with. and whether or not you're sober.

nina said...

i have yet to experience tent sex however i do own a tipi and hope to catch some action this summer...

neen

MmeBenaut said...

Well you made me laugh out loud just when I was feeling sorry for myself about my aches and pains. M.B's nickname for me is "tiny tits" which he says with his tongue firmly in his cheek.

Shan said...

You're living situation is really bringing out the comedy. This is another good side affect from adversity. There's usually some wicked humor in there if you look hard enough. Glad you spared your nips. That could have gotten dangerous quickly!

Maria said...

God....that sounds just bleak. Can you shower at the hospital? When I lived in my first creepy apartment, I was scared to shower because there were these huge bugs in the drain. So, I just showered in the hospital. I remember clearly that there was one doctor's office/suite that was nearly always left unlocked and it had this really swanky heavy duty hot tub. I used to go in, lock the door (when I knew he had left the building) and just dive in. I was never caught.

Whew.

Amanda said...

hahaha...

Rich said...

I don't mind tiny tits!!

Terroni said...

Rich, I giggled when I read your comment. Like a girl.

And now, I'm admitting it. Like a dumbass.

Rich said...

I don't mind a dumb ass either :)