Friday, July 24, 2009

On call

"Transport came and picked up the guy in 12. He's officially discharged."
"Is that the one who called me a fucking whore when I said he couldn't leave the floor to smoke?"
"Yep, that's him."
"I'm going to miss him."

"Uh...I think the guy in 14 might be having a little heart attack."
"Well, as long as it's just a little one..."

"I need you to specify a calorie count for this patient's diet. The admitting doctor forgot to do that."
"It's 3:30 in the morning...are they bringing the patient a meal tray right now?"
"No, but you know, breakfast will be here before you know it."


Eric said...

Ok, in the restaurant world this would have gone something like this:

1. Would have already been discharged, in urgent need of a proctologist and a cobbler.

2. Get him out onto the sidewalk.

3. Calorie count...uh, three?

I'll have to explain that last one later.

☆Susanlee☆ said...

My hospital has room service so the patients order pretty much whatever they want whenever they want it, unless they're on restricted diets. (Luckily all the women in my floor are on ice chips and popsicles only.)

secret agent woman said...

When I used to have to take call, it was always a mater of having to speak t the patient. One of my favorites was the person who woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me they couldn't sleep. Argh.

dive said...

T: You have the makings of a lucrative TV medical comedy right there.

Keep on taking the notes!

MmeBenaut said...

Dive's right you know. This is very good comedy!