Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The OB

Well, I think that maybe the best way to describe him is to say he's one of those doctors that nobody--not even people who have worked with him for twenty years--ever calls by his first name. Because, well, it just wouldn't fly.

He can drink a bottled water in 30 seconds. I know this because he told me, "I can drink one of these in 30 seconds." I wasn't really sure what to say to that, but, ever since then, I've been timing him. If he looks like he's going to make it, I try to interrupt him with a question. I now consider it a personal victory every time it takes him more than 30 seconds to drink a bottle of water.

He says the same thing to every patient...I find a pretty healthy lady. One of these patients looked at me, rolled her eyes a bit, and said, "You know, he says that to everybody." When they're pregnant, he hands them all a book to read. He handed her the book. She smirked a little, turned to me again, and said, "I've got three of these books at home." He looked a little annoyed. She was my favorite patient so far.


Lainey-Paney said...

Oh...I loved my OB.

But...he used to have a partner who was random-comment-guy, and I could see him saying something like, "I can drink this bottle of water in 30 seconds", okay.

Anonymous said...

The Vet says the same cheesy line about my cat every year when I bring her in for her check up.

"Aren't you the cutest thing, did you step in paint to get white only on your paws?"

This year when she walked in the room I said, "No she hasn't stepped in any paint lately."

Fortunately, the vet has a decent sense of humor and laughed.


Vic said...

See if you can distract him enough to drop the healthy and just say I find a pretty lady. Then see how long he lasts.

Mme Benaut said...

I think you've got his measure, T.

Rich said...

I think women should NOT have guys as their OBGYN Docs. Whay would you when there are so many good female docs?

joshua said...

what about doctor huxtable??

Terroni said...

Rich, I'm not sure about that. I worked with a male OB during college who I would have trusted with my life. If I had gotten pregnant, I would have chosen him. In fact, I chose to care for my mom when she was having some scary health problems. I think it takes a special kind of guy, though, to be a good Dr. Huxtable :>

Anonymous said...

He sounds like the amazing robotic doctor.

I utterly loathe my OBGYN and the feeling is mutual. I'd go to another doctor but the other one in town is renown for being rough and bruising you internally. So I go to the interuterine grinch because he's the best.

Rich said...

Terroni - I think you're right. My son was delivered by a guy and he was the best. Wew where sadd when he left the Boston area.

Maria said...

I think everyone should be total wise asses with their doctors. It takes them down a peg and forces them to drop the god complex thing.

And a good doctor won't care, he or she will just enjoy the rapport.

How old is this guy? Is he like Marcus Welby old? He sounds a little folksy.

Folksy is very small doses.

Mme Benaut said...

Well, perhaps I should add a little bit more! Before I met M.B I was diagnosed with a large mass on my left ovary. My GP sent me to an OBGYN whom I had never met before. He was a god - a Greek god - oh my god - a YOUNG Greek OBGYN god - AND he held my hand while I went under the general anaesthetic and I was watching those big, brown, cow-like eyes, watching me, watching the anaesthetist, watching me and then watching me again when I woke up. Well, that was it - I was IN LOVE. Whoever said a man can't tickle your ovaries? - which reminds me of a joke -
Lady goes in to see her OB and asks:
"Doctor could you please check out my Averies?"
"Madam," says he, indignantly, "they are not averies, they are Ovaries!"
"Whatever." she sighs. "Just check on my averies please doc."
"Oh dear." he says, having had a good look.
"I see what you mean" he concedes.
"What?" she enquiries.
"Well, you've definitely had a cockatoo (cock or two) in there!"
Sorry, T. I just couldn't help myself. xxxMme

Terroni said...

Thanks, Madame...hee hee hee. :>

Terroni said...

No, he's not really that old. It's folksy in very, very large doses.