Saturday, July 7, 2007

Here I am

I've waited longer for lesser things, but here I am...
Mary Chapin Carpenter is singing to me.

While I was in college, and for a while after, I worked at a hospital 45 minutes from my home. My shift started at 7 in the morning, so, many months of the year, I was in the car before dawn.

I am not a morning person, which is why I loved my morning commute. If I had to be up before the sun, I preferred to be alone with my coffee and music. I came to rely on the drive as time to center myself for the day.


Once again, I am back in the hospital. And once again, I find myself enjoying the drive. I got in the car at 5:15 this morning, exhausted and ridiculously anxious about the work ahead.

But I drove into perspective. I looked at the dark windows of the homes I passed, the man delivering newspapers house to house, the empty streets. I drank my coffee and thought, No matter what happens today, there will always be this--morning peace.

I thanked God for commutes, and I arrived...centered.

15 comments:

Cheryl said...

I only have a 20 minute commute, but I love the time. I actually listen to audio books. I love it when I have time in the morning to sit on my porch. It gives me a sense of peace that lasts through the day. What I really loved was the time in my life that I walked every morning. I wish I had the motivation to do that again. I still remember the music I used to listen to while I walked.

Vic said...

My best work days are where I get to be by myself for about an hour before I leave. It means that I feel like I have a me that isn't just centred on work.

Vic said...

But I drove into perspective.

That's a great line, T. So true. I'll think of it next tie I take a sanity drive.

Mme Benaut said...

What a wonderful title for a painting - one-point perspective - that would be: "Driving into Perspective" - with Terroni en voiture in the foreground. I need two coffees before I feel "centred" and like you, I'm not often awake at dawn but when I am, I enjoy the peace and quiet too - and then the birds awake! I'm back from Tahiti, trying to type with a cat on my lap - the little one won't let me out of her sight! Missed you, little one.

Maria said...

Like Cheryl, I rely heavily on audio books (unless Liv is with me.)

And I think your perspective is great. No one really knows what they are doing in an ICU. It's more guesswork than anyone believes, mostly just trying to keep those lines from flatlining, yes?

Terroni said...

Hi friends!

Cheryl~ Now I wondering what that music was...

Vic~ Thank you for the complement. It's my favorite line from the post as well.

Madame~ I've missed you! Come back and tell me all about your trip.

Maria~ You're blogging! Does this mean you're feeling better? And you are so right about the guesswork--a lot of "well, we haven't tried this yet."

emmapeelDallas said...

I, too, love that line, "But I drove into perspective..." That is so well written...I'm not a morning person, and I have a little over an hour's commute each morning and evening...and that is a time to gain some perspective.

Judi

Proxima Blue said...

It's good that you can find that perspective. I feel the same way. I love the smeil of the pre-dawn air most of all.

-P

Kate Isis said...

I used to have an hour and a half commute by car when i first started working and then a five and a half hour public transport commute to get home. Music was the one thing that grounded me. I hated it at first but grew to love the trip down the coast to work. I never did get my head around the half day travelling back.

dive said...

I commute a minimum of seven hours a day.
Kill me now.

Sassy Sundry said...

I once had a commute like that. I claimed to hate it, but I really appreciated the time to think.

Carrie said...

I only walk next door to work. But I know what you mean about. It is like a recharge before you go in.

Mme Benaut said...

OK Terroni I'm back with a short precis of my trip to Tahiti.
Tahiti is a 7 hour flight from Sydney, smack bang in the middle of the Pacific. Due to its remoteness, it is quite unspoiled, outside of the resorts although the French influence is apparent everywhere; the supermarkets are stocked with imports from France, Algeria, USA, New Zealand (not much from Australia apart from all the fabrics used to make clothes). The indigenous Polynesians are gentle people - the culture for women is to never cut their hair so they all have hair past their waists - usually braided but loose for traditional ceremonies. The men are stunning when young - fierce warriors, also with long hair and many tattoos which originally formed the basis of the written language. The Polynesians look very similar to those in Hawaii and their natural diet was the same, mainly fish and vegetables. I think that most of the population is suffering from obesity now from all the chocolate and coca cola! The resort (Intercontinental) was spectacular but incredibly expensive and the tours etc were priced way above what Mother and I could afford unfortunately but we did a day tour around the main Island of Tahiti and went to the Paul Gaugin museum and saw some of the historical landmarks. There was another Mother/Daughter couple from Georgia on the bus with us. Lovely people. Tahiti's natural beaches mostly have the finest black sand - from their volcanic origin - but there are also white sand beaches from the coral reefs. The island is almost completely circled by reef which creates a gentle lagoon. Have a look on Google Earth - it is quite spectacular. The main export from Tahiti and her islands are the South Sea Pearls. They range in colours and quality but they are so beautiful. Classified as "gems", they come from a beautiful place - an oyster, in the ocean - which makes them even more precious. I bought one in New Caledonia a couple of years ago and then a necklace in Queensland, Sunshine Coast, earlier this year and I just love them! They are quite expensive but I figure I'll be wearing them when I'm a really old lady so the investment is worth it.
Incidentally, for a holiday, en route to Australia of course, I would recommend Hawaii or Noumea rather than Tahiti but if you do find yourself there, two days would be sufficient.
Mother and I struggled with our relationship during the week (very cold at times) but that is another story!
It is so wonderful to be home again though, with my beautiful husband that I can easily brave the cold after a week of hot temperatures. Hope that you are still enjoying your summer, even though the airconditioning in ICU must be keeping you cool. Looking forward to more posts from you little one, when life is a bit less frazzled. Much love, Mme. xx

Terroni said...

Madame, thank you so much for telling me all about it. Reading about your trip was a bright spot in my night.

CS said...

Commutes can be a nice time for going into that zen-like state. I feel the same way about long drives on my own. I left the beach yesterday morning at 4:40 am and loved the pre-dawn part of the drive.