Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Short stories

Contact Precautions

It was my last day with the resident from the coffee shop.

We had several patients with drug resistant infections. As he put on a gown to examine one of these patients, he said, We have a lot of patients on contact precautions...kind of like you and me.

I said, Yeah, I think it's probably good that this is our last day together. The less sleep I get, the more difficult it is to maintain this kind of self...uh...I mean, infection control.

Bear Encounters

It was our first day with a new attending physician. Her reputation preceded her. I downloaded the do's and don'ts of bear encounters from a park ranger's site. We have found the following to be very helpful:

Do keep a cool head at all times.
If there are two or more of you, stand close together to appear more imposing.
Do try to avoid direct eye contact.

Don't try to get a closer look by approaching the bear/attending.
Don't turn your back or run. (You'll look like food!)

Peter, Peter, pumpkin-flavored foot eater

The new resident and I were standing in a patient's room talking to her daughter. The patient was not doing well. In fact, she's not expected to survive. In the middle of this conversation, Peter, the other medical student, marched in to announce, My girlfriend just sent me an email. My puppy is sick!

Does anyone have an extra social filter lying around? Peter seems to have misplaced his.


Anonymous said...

Peter seems to be struggling far worse than you. Congratulations for surviving the flirty dude and much luck with bear lady.

dive said...

Who needs TV med shows when we've got you, T?
And good luck with the bear. Remember to store your lunch twenty feet up a tree.

Melanie said...

ouch. yeah, it's a little early to be desensitized like that.

Carrie said...

I'm with dive. You are entertaining.

amusings_bnl said...

sounds like an episode of "SCRUBS" to me!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ha,ha,ha, of course I L-o-v-e the bear instructions for your Attending. :>

I think Peter needs a good whack upside the head. Insensitive clod!


Maria said...

Gotta love those freudian slips....

Mme Benaut said...

Exciting week so far Terroni. The bear sounds a bit like my previous neurosurgeon - beside manner? what beside manner! And, Peter is a bit of a clutz isn't he? Can just see you Terroni, rolling your eyes and looking askance, through your specs down your regal nose which incidentally is the only part of you that we've seen so far!
Long Story: today I've fed all of the birds and the cats and the neighbour's dog and made coffee for my sister and turned the enormous pile of compost and walked 400 metres to the letterbox and back; done a load of washing and made a quilt cover out of some old curtains. Beautiful sunny winter's day in Adelaide. Have now lit the fire and am about to get cleaned up before M.B arrives home for work and Ken arrives for dinner yet again. Ken's wife tried to suicide last Thursday and we're keeping his spirits up by feeding him every other night. She is ok now - was found in time after leaving lots of hints apparently and after 2 days in ICU having her stomach pumped and lots of charcoal tossed in, she decided that she wanted to live after all. That's an important decision to make - whether you want to live or die. Poor thing - none of us saw it coming but I defy anyone to make a logical decision after 3 bottles of wine and 1 bottle of spirits. I think she's a very lucky girl who needs some professional help, not least with her drinking. Now all she has to do is decide whether she wants to be married to Ken. She is at her sister's place and is going out on a "date" with her husband on Saturday night. This has been a weird week for us.

Susanlee said...

*sigh* Oh Peter. Seriously dude pay attention.

Terroni said...

Kate~ Tomorrow it's just she and I rounding in the morning--I'm going to need much luck

Good tip, Dive.

Ouch is right, Mel. It was all I could do not to give him something to "ouch" about.

Thank you, Carrie. :>

Christine~ Sometimes it feels like it's made for TV.

P~ I'm trying my hardest NOT to whack him. He was jabbering on the other day, though, and I interrupted him to say, "Dude, choke your mouth motor."

M~ The resident did in fact love it.

Wow, Madame. That sounds like a tough, weird week. I'm so glad that she's okay--well, at least physically okay. It sounds like she still has some soul healing to work through (and that's often harder than healing the body). Ken is so lucky to have you and M.B. during this difficult time.
You know, it's funny, but you strike me as the kind of people who may be just perfect to know on a rough road. I've never actually met either of you, but I feel as though if I some how showed up on your doorstep tomorrow a complete wreck, you'd scoop me up without batting an eye.

CS said...

Good that you don't have to continue working on self-control!

Someone needs to gag Peter.

Terroni said...

I'm trying hard NOT to gag Peter.
I came dangerously close today, though.
I stopped myself because he's sweaty and smelly...I didn't want to touch that.

Tomorrow, though, I may throw on a pair of gloves and have at him.