Thinking about love
Not wishing, or waiting, or searching for it. Just thinking about it. Because I have this friend who's never quite found it--at least not in a healthy, life-affirming way--and she swears that it doesn't really exist.
And I will not be that person. I will not deny the existence of the amazingly beautiful just because it isn't happening to me.
And because it brings me great peace to recognize it, to appreciate it, to honor it...even if from afar. It feels, to me, like I am enjoying living art.
Reading Maria, We should all be so lucky to be 88 and still have someone want to pinch our asses...
Listening to Ben, and Patti.
Smiling as my dad tells my mom, You know I would marry you all over again, and I'm not even sure why...and then they laugh and kiss.
I do not believe in the fairy tale I thought I was walking into when I strolled down that petal-strewn aisle. But, I do believe in love. And I love that I am surrounded by it...amazingly beautiful, living art.
8 comments:
This is a deep, wistful piece; very honest and lovely. I found love in a "healthy, life-affirming way" for the very first time Terroni, with M.B, when I was 47 and it was love at first sight, for both of us. Incredible as that may seem, after two failed marriages, I adore him as much as I did on the day we were married, even though we're older and greyer and life continues to throw curved balls from time to time. We laugh and we kiss and I'm so lucky that every day he tells me what a gorgeous ass I have and what beautiful "tiny tits" I have (ha ha). I think I'll have to introduce him to the tag "hot tomato"!
You will find this type of love too little one, on a day when you are least expecting it. Of that, I have absolutely no doubt.
Funny that you should be the first to comment, Madame, because I almost linked to a picture of you and M.B. I remember a picture of the two of you standing on a balcony next to some ice and snow, as David Sedaris said, "looking for all the world like two people in love."
it does exsist, just ask me :))
I will be honest. I think it exists, I just think that true love is rare. I have days when I think I have it and other days when I'm not so sure. I don't know...love isn't easy for me. Maybe others will say that it is effortless. Falling in love was one of the most painful things that ever happened to me. No one ever tells you that it hurts too.
Or that you have to work at it. Compromise. Be prepared to put someone else ahead of yourself. Doing that with my child was easy, doing it with Bing was very difficult for me.
But, I've always been the problem child.....
I hope someday to have love find me. I'm optimistic. I'm a very self-sufficient single person, and I love my time alone. There are times, though, like tonight, that I am lonely.
It does happen, T.
I waited forty-eight cynical years, then it hit me like a truck.
I still believe in it too, Terroni. I can't believe in a world without it.
Love comes when we least expect it, when we're not looking for it or when we realise that we've always had it, just not in that rose petal fairy tale way.
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