Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Placing an ad at find-me-a-sucker.com

This morning, while shoveling half a foot of wet, heavy snow off my car (and into my shoes), I made a decision.

I've decided I should start dating again.

Single white female seeks anyone willing to clean off her car and clear her walk.

Please note...
She probably won't sleep with you, and she may not talk to you much.
Also, she doesn't cook; and she doesn't do other people's laundry.

Interviews will be held tomorrow morning at 7.
Applicants should provide their own shovels.


Annabel said...

Love the ad! Careful though... you'll actually get a few takers (i.e. freaks) that think that whole "I won't sleep with you" thing is more of a suggestion.

dive said...

Single white male, great cook, a demon with laundry, likes washing the car and gardening and silences.
Lives on wrong side of the planet.
He ho.
Also fat, ugly, balding and old, but you can't win 'em all.
Hee hee, T.

Susan said...

When Justin and I move to Ohio, he'll do all those things for you. Including the not sleeping with you part. ;)

--OR if you'd prefer--

Dive looks like a keeper to me...They have med school in England, right?

Terroni said...

not only do they have med school...but also tea and crumpets

i'm packing my bags as we speak

Mme Benaut said...

Bon voyage Terroni!

dive said...

Oh, hee hee hee!

Maria said...

As soon as you are less sleep deprived, you will be more able to sort out the keepers from the um...throw backs.

And if you move to England, I want an invite because I need a fucking vacation so badly and I think you and Dive would be the best tour guides on the planet. Of course, you'd be busy with school...so I would just have to nab Dive for myself...

.j.william. said...

you totally need one of those robot vacuum things, except one that shovels snow. No sleeping with, no cooking for...you may need to swear at it occasionally.

and when you find one, let me know. I need one too.