Wednesday, February 27, 2008

What if...

Maria asked what if?

And, I sometimes wonder...what if I'd never gotten married?

I would have lived with a group of women friends in college.
I never would have learned to roof a house or tile a bathroom to pay rent. This may not sound like much, but yesterday, I had a patient who was a roofer. I could honestly say, "Oh man, I did that for a while. It was the hardest I've ever worked."

I would have continued to work in a campus office.
I never would have gotten that nurse's aide job at the big hospital where he worked. I never would have met all those amazing nurses who taught me so much real medicine, real life.

I would have come to medical school two years earlier.
I would have gone farther away.
I never would have met Lolita or Graci.
I wouldn't have been close enough to have Logyn for my birthday.

I may have gone on those caving trips that always interested me.

I may have dated the writer, or the chemist--the ones whose knowing eyes made me feel all the more trapped with Mr. Ex.

I may have taken that semester abroad.

Turns out, I don't really know what if.

But...I do know that I like where I am, who I am today.
What more could a girl ask for?


Anonymous said...

Those "what ifs" are so unknowable. I am just a firm non-believer in regrets.

Cheryl said...

If I hadn't gotten married I wouldn't have my daughter or my house. I'm so glad I have both.

dive said...

Loving who you are is the best result of all, T.

Rich said...

That's all we can do is live for today and try not to keep asking "what if". Good post!

Maria said...

Sounds like you are right where you need to be, T....

Mme Benaut said...

I love this post because in the end you are so positive little one. Besides, we love you right where you are now. I've found that the key is to never have regrets and to only look forward, at this stage of your life, never back. Leave the looking back for when you are a settled, middle aged woman (like me) or in your dotage when you are striving for those memories ...