Wednesday, October 3, 2007

A threesome story

As told to me by my mother...

Oh my gosh, wait'll ya hear this.

(That's how all her stories start.)


So, your brother was working at the restaurant the other night, and he was serving this couple.

(Bro is a server at a very high end restaurant--he made $70,000 last year in tips.)


They were in their late forties. Anyway, all the way through dinner, she kept flirting with your brother.

(Lots of women flirt with my brother. He's a 22 year old guy in great shape who's been well-groomed by previous girlfriends. But, they don't usually flirt with him in front of their husbands.)


The couple eventually finished and left. Two hours later, he got a call on his cell phone. He answers, and it's this woman!

(Did you catch that change in tense from past to present? That also happens a lot during her stories.)


This woman said, "I thought you'd stay and have a drink with us."
He said, "How'd you get this number?"
She told him how she waited until he left the restaurant, and then went back and told the bartender some lie about being his aunt from out of town, and that she lost her cell phone with his number programmed in it, and yada, yada...
He said, "Look, I don't drink with customers."
And then, she said, "Well, we were hoping you would maybe come home with us and...um...play."
He said, "Lady, first of all, you're old; and, second, you people are sick. Don't call me again."

(Bro's never been one to mince words.)


But he did say they were good tippers.

(And here's where we have to bow to Mom, because that last line...that's a hell of way to end a threesome story.)

8 comments:

.j.william. said...

yikes: couple stalkers!

Katie always jokes because I have been hit on by an inordinate number of 40+ women...yet for some reason similar-age women always seemed uninterested (save for Katie). I blame my old man chic style (pocketwatch, cardigan sweaters and corduroy pants).

Terroni said...

There are few things on the planet sexier than a pocketwatch.

Proxima Blue said...

It's true, I got my hubby a pocketwatch for our first christmas together.

I've also been asked to join a threesome twice, but I never consented. I'm easy-going for the most part, but I ain't THAT easy-going!

-P

Terroni said...

I don't think Bro turns down a lot of sex, but apparently he ain't THAT easy-going either.

Cheryl said...

I bought my ex a pocket watch too. The one he wore had broken. I also bought a 14K gold chain to go with it. Then his office went casual wear and he never used the watch.

I have a very unattractive client who once asked her former hairdresser (from my salon--she moved) to be in a threesome. Every time I do her hair I'm afraid she's going to ask me. This woman gives me the creeps, and not just for that reason.

Funny how your brother thought they were old. The older he gets, the younger that will feel.

nina said...

I bet they won't tip as well the next time. *snicker*

Mme Benaut said...

Mom tells a good story with a great punch line! Woo Hoo to bro for saying it like it is!

Maria said...

Your mother and I have far too much in common. I am very worried about this. For her, um...not me.

And I am such a material girl that I missed most of the juiciness of this story because I was sitting there thinking that I REALLY need to get a job in a four star restaurant as a server....