Sunday, May 27, 2007

(Almost) 5 reasons

Maria asked for 5 reasons why I blog. First, I should apologize to Maria for taking so long to get to this little assignment. Better late than never? I hope so. Here goes...

1. I started the blog as a virtual corkboard of sorts. I wanted to hang an actual corkboard in my room. I felt like I needed a place to stick great poetry (mostly song lyrics, as I have no time to actually read poetry) and my own thoughts.

But, last summer, using several hours and most of my roommates office supplies, I hung this big fabric thingy in the corner of my room. I say thingy not because I can't think of a better word, but because if you saw it, you would say, "Oh, look, it's some sort of fabric thingy." Anyway, it hangs there as a constant reminder of what happens when I decide I'm going to HGTV up the joint. So, staring at this one night and thinking about hanging a corkboard, I decided instead to just start a blog.

So, that's why I started this blog. The other 4 out of 5 will be about why I continue to blog. They're not likely to make as much sense as the first point. I wrote #1 sober. Numbers 2 through 5 will be soaked in red wine. (Unless, of course, the migraine I will inevitably get from drinking these sulfites knocks me on my ass before I finish.)

2. I'm a very private person. No one I go to school with knows a damn thing about me. With the exception of Lolita, everyone thinks I've got it all together all the time. They tell me so. They think this because I don't share my personal life with them. If I were to share, I may say, "I suffered through 5 years of a terrible marriage. I'm not over that. I'm still terrified of him. When I hear things go bump in the night, I wake up expecting to find him over top of me with a hand gun. I'm not dating because I secretly suspect that every man who's interested in me is just angling for a chance to be that bump in the night."

And that, friends, is just not much of a conversation starter. So, instead, I rely on my sense of humor and my sarcasm to interact with the world. I don't share.

Except here. Here, I sometimes share. In fact, if you read this, you know more about me than my family and most of my friends.

3. I share because I've been able to carve out a rather safe space for myself here. One of the great things about blogging is that you don't have to see people walk away. There are probably many people who stumble upon this verbal diarrhea every day, roll their eyes, and never return. But, I don't have to watch any of that.

4. That brings me to those who don't just walk away. This has been the most surprising thing to me about blogging--the stranger-friends who comment. I have met the most amazing people here. When I blogged about my court date, for example, and then everyone commented with such generous support, I cried. And I'm not a crier. It was just so amazing, and humbling, and empowering.

On a lighter note, while a few of you expressed shock and horror at my confessed crush on Richard Gere, no one questioned my lust for k.d. lang. That's what I love about you people. You are so unlike everyone in the hilljack town where I'm currently serving time. Your comments are always a breath of fresh air.

That's it. I guess I don't have 5 reasons why I blog, so I'm just going to stick with those 4. I don't even have 4 reasons for most of the stuff I do, so really, I feel like I'm doing pretty well here.

Too drunk to tag too many, I'll just pass this one on to Proxima.
P, why do you blog?


Susanlee said...

I know it probably sucks for you, but I'm glad you're back from the beach. The blogging comes more frequently. Yes, I'm a selfish cow. :)

Proxima said...

Shit, T. :> (ok, not really, I'm flattered)

And you're freaking me out! I swear I read all or most of this post before today. Are you sure it wasn't posted before or did my brain fall in a provierbial well again?

I will do it tomorrow. Das man wants us to get outside and enjoy the day now.

Maria said...

Jaysus. You are sort of freaking me out here, kiddo.

Because if I had a dollar for every time someone told me that I was so "with it" and "together"...I would be able to buy some really good wine or something.

And, like you, I was just delighted in general with the group that decided to stick it out with me in Blogville. It was like I suddenly had all these interesting people around who I genuinely LIKED. I wish it was like that in my day to day life...

Glad to have you back.

And, I am sorry about that first marriage of yours. Someone better is waiting in the wings and he'llbe able to leap all those barriers you have set up. I promise. He's out there....

Terroni said...

Susan~ You're a lot of things, girlfriend, but a cow isn't one of them. Selfish? Perhaps. A cow? I think not.

P~ I'm so glad you're going to play! And, yeah, you may have read most of this before in previous posts. This is like post 93, and from here on out, I'll probably just be recycling old material.

Maria~ I'm not sure I can say I'm glad to be back. I'm missing that beach. But, when you say, "I promise"... I believe you. Thank you.

Sassy Sundry said...

Welcome back, Terroni. Hope the studying continues to do well.

Happy to have made your stranger-friend acquaintance.

Terroni said...

And I am happy to have made your acquaintance too, Sassy!

Mme Benaut said...

Well, I can understand the crush on Richard Gere - very sexy; kd lang - now that's interesting - she sure recorded some beautiful music. Either one would be more comforting than the bump in the night. While some say that you have nothing to fear but fear itself; others of us know better - keep your door locked sweetheart. Apart from having something in common in that the sulfites in wine give us migraines (for me to the point that I don't risk drinking any alcohol any more; well, rarely anyway) now that I've found you little one, I won't walk away. I admire the courage of anyone who starts their own blog. I find your blog very refreshing and of those that I visit, I check yours regularly. I don't think I could start one of my own but I enjoy sharing with others who have more creativity than I. I'm fortunate in that M.B has enough for both of us.
Keep studying though too.

Cheryl said...

I'm gonna do this one. A lot of tags I just have to pass on. Just stopping by my friend's to say hi:))1 lousy minute till I have to leave for work!

Melanie said...

how would you feel if your family happened upon this blog? could it happen?

Terroni said...

Madame~ So nice to hear from you! I was just thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. I so love your visits!

Mel~ I decided early on (Feb 11th post) that I wasn't going to worry about that. I'm not sure how I'll feel about it if it happens, but, in the meantime, I'm just going to write.

Robyn said...

This really is a safe place for us all, isn't it? Good point.

People often tell me they think I have it all together, too. We've all got masks, apparently.