Monday, April 23, 2007

I beat up Dive and stole his meme

Nothing good to post. Too busy studying to be my normal cute and charming self. So...I lifted some questions from Dive's favorite meme.

1. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Toby Keith. I'd rather sit through restless leg commercials than watch him sing about Ford trucks.

2. What is your favourite cheese?
Most of the cheese in this town comes in a squirt can. My favorite cheese is any cheese eaten elsewhere.

3. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
Make your own damn sandwich!

4. You, Elvis and Princess Diana (yeah, I know they both smell a bit now but you'd still give 'em one; right?) are in a dog sled, fleeing across the Siberian wastes with wolves in hot pursuit. The wolves are catching up fast. Who would you throw out to gain speed and why?
Myself. I'd rather go it alone with the wolves than be stuck on a dog sled with those two.

5. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
Richard Gere.
But it will be happening more than once.
They always come back for more.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
After watching that Hallelujah video, might have to be k.d. lang.

7. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Morning after pill.
(I realize that Richard's probably too old to get anyone pregnant, but k.d. looks frighteningly fertile.)

8. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
San Francisco to see friends.

9. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Treat my friends to dinner. I know, it sounds lame, but they are always paying for me and I'd love to return the favor.

10. Your dream date. Who, where and why?
I'm not dating or dreaming of dating.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?
This question is too hard for a stupid medical student.

12. Okay; girls and gay guys stand over here; guys and lesbians over there (I know and love my readership) …
Girls and gay guys first: You're in bed with Marilyn Monroe, Doris Day and Salma Hayek. Who's gonna be the lucky girl? (you're only allowed one).
And similarly, guys and lesbians: You're in bed with Cary Grant, Paul Newman and Johnny Depp. Who's gonna be the lucky guy? (again, you're only allowed one).
Give your reasons.
I think I'm going to turn in my straight girl ID and switch teams so I can sleep with Cary Grant. I can think of no better reason to become a lesbian.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Don't touch my stuff.

14. What is your favorite curse word?
You expect me to pick just one?
What the cock is that shit?

15. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object (that's "inanimate" … leave your kids to burn; you know you want to). So what’s the item?
A key-chain my father gave me for Christmas. It was a gift to him from his mother.

16. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Kill the Angel of Death.

17. Truthfully, what underwear are you currently wearing?
The boring kind. I never could get used to thongs.

18. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Everyone always tells teenage girls that they will regret "going too far" with their dates. I actually regret not going far enough with one of mine. I'd kind of like to see where that kiss could have gone...

19. Moses trips on his robe and drops the stone tablets. Commandment number eleven is broken off. He leaves it there as his back is killing him. What does it say?
Don't eat yellow snow.

20.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
Junior High.

21. Rufus appears with the time machine and a custard pie. Who's gonna get it?
The jackass who ranted about the need for enhanced border security while we sat in a Mexican restaurant.

22. What part of your body would you change (no, you are NOT perfect; you gotta answer this one) and why?
Chin--I could use one.

23. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
Rick's Bar in Casablanca. (I stole this answer from Dive, and I'm not even sorry.)

24. What's the last thing you ate?
Lentil salad--yum!

25. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Suddenly, you have gained the ability to float. Who are you going to show this to first?
I didn't answer the super-powers question, so no danger there.

I'll show my roommate--she's the only one who's ever around.

Now that I think about this, though, she'll probably want me to float into the kitchen and get her something to drink. So...on second thought, I'm just keeping this to myself. The less people expect of me, the better.

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, once again Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
No one. I think we pretty much die when we're supposed to.

27. What’s your theme song?
Right now, it's Get Out the Map by Indigo Girls.
Because I hate this town.

28. When did you last have sex?
With someone else?


dive said...

Richard Gere?
k.d.lang and Cary Grant I can understand, but Richard Gere?

Other than that one, some seriously great answers, T. though you skipped half the questions.

See you in Rick's Bar.
DON'T bring Gere!

Anonymous said...

Ha,ha,ha! i've never done a meme, but this one is pretty dang funny!

I love your response to question .28, as well as others. And Richard Gere? uhm, I'm just gonna leave that one alone. Didn't we speak about a partial lombotomy for you once?


Melanie said... THAT was a bizarre quiz. Elvis versus Princess Di?

Robyn said...

Cary Grant really did have that remarkable something, didn't he? Even when he was silly.

Terroni said...

Dive - I answered 28/40 questions--that's 70%--much more than half!

And I'm not apologizing for Richard Gere. The man looks great in that gray hair, and I love a man who ages well. Plus, he can really wear a suit...ahh.

dive said...


Terroni said...

I knew you were going to say that.
I'm kind of surprised it took you this long.

Maria said...

I get k.d. first.

Slut. Pee Butt.