Play bingo with Phil Spector tonight at 8

I thought about this post while I was in the shower. So...if you read it and it sucks, I suggest you print a copy, put it in some kind of waterproof sleeve, and try it again in the shower. It will probably sound much better with those great bathroom acoustics. Plus, what the hell else have you got to do in there?


I read an article in SF Gate today about the debate over cameras in the courtroom. This debate has experienced a rebirth as the murder trial of record producer Phil Spector starts today--a trial that will be televised on Court TV. I, for one, think that cameras in the courtroom are a bad idea. Not because they may interfere with justice (who are we kidding, that woman is blindfolded with cheesecloth) but because they make for bad TV. People who can afford televisions already spend entirely too much time sitting in front of them watching utterly useless crap, and this only adds to the cesspool.

It's almost as bad as the new bingo game that will soon be on prime time. Bingo, a game that is too boring to play outside of nursing homes and catholic church basements, will now be taped for your viewing pleasure.

Who on earth thought this would make a good spectator sport?

The TV gods, that's who. They realized that people have entirely too much spare time on their hands (time they could be spending reading my blog in the shower, by the way). The TV gods noticed that Who Wants to Be a Millionaire has been on for over 60 seasons now, and they realized that people will watch anything.

I can hear them now:

TV god 1: Hey, I've got an idea, let's videotape people playing bingo and then put it in a prime time spot right in between that British nanny with her naughty chair and Howie Mandel with his Mr. Clean earrings.

TV god 2: That's the stupidest fucking idea I've ever heard.

TV god 1: Listen, dude, these idiots watch Meredith Viera ask poorly dressed accountants from Idaho questions about the pyramids. They'll watch anything.

TV god 2: Yeah, did you see that one last week with the lady from Tennessee? I really thought she was going to win the million. That's what happens when you use your life-lines too early, though. You don't have anyone to help you with the hard ones.

TV god 1: So...that's a go on the bingo, then?


The moment they televise traffic court and solitaire, I'm throwing out that damn TV.