Thursday, June 14, 2007

We don't know what okay looks like yet

My sister is pregnant. And she's doing her best. She really is. She is young, and she thought she was doing the right thing when she told everyone who the father was.

But, as it turns out, her dates were a little bit way off.

Maury Povich came knocking. And people in a small town started talking.

And now...a girl who already had precious little understanding of her own worth feels like walking shit.

Her mother, the children's minister who's known far and wide for always having it together, doesn't feel much better. She called me from a church closet crying. She was supposed to be directing vacation bible school. Instead, she was pouring all of her Godly efforts into trying not to throw up. I never thought I was going to have to talk my mother into coming out of the closet. Apparently, there is a first for everything.

It's a double-edged sword, this whole being the oldest of five thing. But, in the end, I'm glad she feels like I'm the one she should call. I told her something my lovely roommate once told me when I was in a pickle.

It's going to be okay. We don't know what okay looks like yet, but it's going to be okay.

My mother has been repeating that for 3 days.


Maria said...

I LOVE that. I wish to hell I had said it, because it is absolutely straight on true.

And my mother used to say, "Everything comes out in the wash."

I have no idea what that really means, though. I interpreted it to mean that in the end, it won't matter that much.

And how lovely that your mother trusts you so much that she can call you like that.

Anonymous said...

That's funny, I've actually used that line before. As i see iteverything is relative anyways.


Sassy Sundry said...

That's a great saying.

It will be OK, but I'm sorry that it happened to her.

Mme Benaut said...

Ah Terroni - welcome back - I missed you. I really did.
I'm very confused about your sister and your mother and don't quite understand the significance of the dates and why your mother is throwing up when it is your sister who is pregnant. The closet metaphor made me LOL.
In any event, you are obviously the strong one in your family and sometimes it is a burden. I think the "everything is going to be okay" line was just wonderful because ... everything is going to be okay.

Susanlee said...

Oh...your poor poor sister and mom. Living in a very small town I know how horrible people can be. I always wish that I had the nerve to not care what they whisper over the grocery carts when I walk by so now I'll wish for that nerve for your mom and sis. I'm also the oldest of 5. (two siblings, two step siblings and me) and My mom always talks to me because my younger brother and sister are special needs and not much help, and my dad talks to me because everyone over on that side of the fence are idiots (not counting the younger 2). I'm just going to tell them your everything is going to be ok line... I hope you have a nice visit with your parents, maybe it will help them feel better about all of this. *hug*

Cheryl said...

I love that line. Along with, 'most worries are wasted'. I always find that to be true.

I'm a middle daughter, but the one my Mom always goes to. Sometimes I ask her not to tell me stuff.

Terroni said...

Madame, I missed you too!

And thank you all for your words of encouragement. I'm headed to see the family this weekend. I look forward to pouring on some hugs (something my family's not always great at). I think it's time we mastered them, though.

deb said...

I'm the youngest ... so, much of what I've done has been outside of the box of my family, that my siblings gave up on me. It is good to see you sticking by your sister.

I've learned that one of The Important Things in life includes supporting those you love through thick and thin. Otherwise, relationships gets skewed and distant. I wish I'd learned that a lot earlier in life...

Kind Regards to you and your family!

Melanie said...

wow. your poor sister, and poor mom. the downside to community is community opinion. :\

but what a wonderful mantra that is. I'm going to keep it.